Easter – the holiday for worshipping eggs. Where I live, blown eggs are especially popular! And so millions of eggs are perforated and blown each year – with your mouth, until your head turns red and swells up. I bet we'd see a statistically significant increase in strokes just before Easter if anyone bothered to investigate. And who knows – maybe that is also the reason for the bad reputation that the Astrazeneca vaccine has gotten around here.

In any case, we are looking at a serious problem that is begging for a modern solution.

Precision drilling

The first problem is to make two suitable holes into the egg in question. Experienced DIYers will immediately notice that a drill press and suitable drill bit are called for. Metal drills do work but spear headed drill bits for glass or tiles are preferable. Of course, you must use utmost caution in order not to break the delicate shell.

That leaves us with the question how to clamp the egg in place. And the answer is easy: You can build an industry grade egg cup from a 50mm drain pipe sleeve and rubber muffle. The egg size determines the best muffle to use.

This egg holder is easily clamped in a machinist vise or held manually for drilling.

Pressure evacuation

So how do we force out the gelatinous matter inside the egg? Traditionally, this is accomplished through oral pressure and a tight lip-to-egg seal. Alternatively, we could think of vacuum extraction. However, I do have an air compressor but lack a vacuum pump or vacuum hose. So the traditional positive pressure approach it is.

First, we drill a hole into a 40mm socket plug – big enough to accommodate the 3/8" thread of a male compressed air connector. Put the connector through the hole and fix it with a nut – that I didn't have at hand so I used an end cap and drilled a hole into it.

We already have a working egg-receptacle but we lack the counterpart for the top hole. Let's construct that the same way but add a rubber tube connector and the 40mm socket plug we prepared above, for a tight seal.

Test drive

Let's assemble all of this and we are ready to test our engineering marvel.

Get an egg and drill two holes.

Connect the air compressor and fire it up. Gently press the egg-blower to the egg and make sure it seals well. If it doesn't, apply a small amount of petroleum jelly for a perfect seal.

That worked like a charm! That's what humanity was waiting for.